Goodbye Hitler of Green Gables

It’s the day after. Time to take down the tents and sweep out the cages.

Last night around 2AM, Craig declared “Ladies and Gentlemen, that’s a wrap on
the Beast of Bottomless Lake!” I had a very brief moment of emotion – sadness and relief – but I had somehow expected it to be more. I figure that I had anticipated that moment so many times that I had, by the time it actually
happened, already processed those emotions. We picked up our things and headed for the cars. Shook some hands and said “see you in the morning” or “see you
on Sunday” – depending upon who was talking.

I ordered Craig to take today off. So far all evidence suggests that for the most part he has.

Today we inventoried equipment and returned the various bits and pieces. Lights and grip equipment, mics and of course our equipment trailer.

We got a great deal from U-Haul on a trailer. You may be familiar with the current U-Haul corporate image: each of their vehicles has a painting on the side of it, each one representing a landmark from some place in North America. Wyoming: Devil’s Tower. The VLA in Virginia; the CN Tower in Ontario and… as appeared on our trailer… Anne of Green Gables, except a previous renter had spray-painted a Hitler moustache on her — something which continued to amuse us right through to the end of shooting. I hope someone has a photo of it [image below right courtesy of the author].

I drove Gordon out to the ferry, and on the way home had a little chat with Keith. I’d had a chat with Keith on my solo trip to the Okanagan which made me cry. It had been a good way to start the production. I figured I end it the same way. It wasn’t as emotional as the first talk had been. Not even close really. I suppose that we managed to finish pretty strongly — I am sick as a
dog, but apart from that, strongly – and while there were inevitable issues to deal with along the way, we feel really good about most of what we accomplished in this past month. The fact that things have gone well perhaps makes this less emotionally charged than the uncertainty of the beginning was.

But there we go. We are done. …shooting.

— Kennedy
Writer Dude

Delicious Silence

Usually I have the words to say, but tonight I don't. This project is something that I never thought I would be part of, the cast and crew are amazing… dedicated and professional (yet, without pay).

When you take a legend and put it on screen it is a special thing. Thank God the project has already put it in tongue in cheek… never before has $20 gone so far (who thought I was a Druggie?).

I feel blessed that Janet and myself can be part of this. Yes, we are only extras and cooks for the crew, but we have met the most creative and talented people that would dare to be an independent film company. It is refreshing to see a group of people who believe in what they are doing, and where they are going. Despite the sunburns and being dead tired, this group of actors and crew keep going… and going…

It has been our pleasure to try to feed this group and keep them nourished. Thanks to David, Craig and Kennedy and everyone else for letting us be a part of this. I want all of your autographs and eventually a DVD , if the movie sucks or rocks, I will have a great momento… lol.

Believe in what you are doing; we believe in you.

By the way, watch out Penticton: we are the un-official tour guides for the night crew (Sat 19^th) and only trouble follows us… lol

CHEERS!

— Garner and Janet Stone (your cooks)

Wrestling, pants, “Big-Me”, and drawing

In the film, I have to wear short shorts, but I didn’t have any. So my Mom cut off my jeans with the hole in the knee and made them into short shorts. I started singing: “Who wears short shorts? I wear short shorts!”

Also, to pass the time while I was waiting to film, I drew a drawing of me wrestling three tires and a hockey stick. Then Craig March — the director of The Beast of Bottomless Lake — saw my drawing and put it in the film! Finally, my other “art” has been put on display!

When we were filming, I had to go into freezing water with socks and sandals and wrestle three tires and a hockey stick (Ogopogo). It was fun because I got to make all these weird, funny faces in front of a camera!

Since I play the younger version of the main character ‘Paul’, I had to look like David Nykl, so I loaned him the necklace I wore during the shoot. Now he looks just like me! We call ourselves “Big-Me” and “Mini-Me”!

Thanks to Craig, Kennedy, Keith, and the rest of the Beast… gang for this great experience!

See you on the big screen!

— Thomas Fournier

Union Tale Finale

Oh this is precious.

I’m really just going to let this one speak for itself, with the minimal amount of set up.

An email from a few days after we submitted our package to UBCP:

From: Lesley Brady
Sent: Wednesday, April 25, 2007 4:18 PM
To: Kennedy Goodkey
Subject: Beast of....

Kennedy:

We will require the completed list (appendix A) with all partners listed and signed off before we can counter sign to accept it. How soon will you be able to get that? Also, when do you go to camera?

Regarding your insurance, will you please provide, when available, proof of your insurance?

Thanks,

Lesley Brady
Business Agent, Film & Television
Union of BC Performers

And my response:

From: Kennedy Goodkey
Sent: Wednesday, April 25, 2007 4:32 PM
To: Lesley Brady
Subject: RE: Beast of....

Lesley,

Partners list... oh crap... we've had a miscommunication then. From my understanding of your's and my previous conversation, the real concern was the UBCP members - and the rest could wait.
Umm, I will look at it first thing tomorrow and get a realistic guess. With so many of the partners in the Okanagan<>th,

Insurance... I understand that it was paid today - I will make arrangements to have proof send ASAP.

Kennedy

The day I dutifully got those additional signatures in was Monday May 7^th. That day Lesley and I had about email exchanges and again the next day. The specific content is rather dull and boring, the important point being that we talked several times back and forth about the details of the additional signatures and nothing else – I have these emails, but I’m not going to bore you with them.

Since then…

Not a word. Not a thing. We have waited by the phone for the call saying “Alright! Go ahead!”
Today is the last business day before we go to camera. Still nothing. With two hours before the Union office closed I sent the following email as a response to the thread that inquired and provided a response to our first day of filming – so all of that information was included:

From: Kennedy Goodkey
Sent: Friday, May 11, 2007 2:30 PM
To: Lesley Brady
Subject: RE: Beast of....

Hi Lesley,

Just checking in to see where things are at on your end in the MIP?

- Kennedy

The response: (I have redacted the names of the innocent.)

From: Lesley Brady
Sent: Friday, May 11, 2007 2:30 PM
To: Kennedy Goodkey
Subject: RE: Out of Office AutoReply: Beast of....

Thank you for your email. Please note that I am currently away on vacation and will not be returning until Monday, May 28^th.

If you require more immediate assistance please redirect your email to Txxxx Cxxxx, Manager Film & Television at txxxx.cxxxx@ubcp.com.

If your inquiry is regarding our Ultra Low Budget Program, please forward your inquries to Lxxxx Lxxxxx at lxxxx.lxxxxxx@ubcp.com.

Thanks and have a great day.
Lesley Brady

Do you think she ONCE mentioned that she was going away? No.

I sent the following email to the redacted ladies mentioned above:

From: Kennedy Goodkey
Sent: Friday, May 11, 2007 3:21 PM
To: lxxxx.lxxxxxx@ubcp.com; txxxx.cxxxx@ubcp.com
Subject: RE: Out of Office AutoReply: Beast of....

Lxxxx & Txxxx - (Apologies I'm not quite certain which of you this should be addressed to.)

We have a MIP application in to Lesley Brady (Submitted April 23rd) and we have not heard back on it. We go to camera on Monday (May 14^th) which she was explicitly informed of on April 25^th, if it was not communicated earlier. I.E. Today is the last business day. We even emailed each other as recently as Tuesday of this week - and I felt all looked well so I did not worry.

Until today...

I sent her an email inquiring about the status a few minutes ago and got the Out of Office Auto-Reply directing me to each of you in various circumstances, and I'm not sure which applies.

Sorry that this is very 'last minute' - the folly of my being too patient.

My number here is 604-xxx-xxxx. Or via email at this address.

I'm not sure what the prudent way to proceed would be.

- Kennedy Goodkey

Now, there IS a happy ending to the story. Redacted Lady #1, Lxxxx (which is not pronounced the way it is spelled) phoned the Provost Pictures office around 4pm with news.

Long story short: The person who is signing off on the application was not available before Lesley left for vacation. The application will likely be signed off on on Monday. If not it will be shortly thereafter. Lesley just neglected to inform us.

“So, let me get this absolutely clear, Lxxxx. We can go ahead with impunity, despite not having official word.”

“Yes.”

“Thanks Lxxxx.”

Now, if you’ll excuse me, I must go find a squirrel to shit upon.

— Kennedy

A Bird Shit on a Squirrel

This may be my last entry until we are finished shooting. It almost certainly will be until we return from K-Town.

We've taken to calling the Okanagan portion of the shoot 'K-Town' which is a bit of a misnomer. We are shooting in Kelowna — which has a store called 'K-Town Souvenirs', so I suppose Kelowna is K-Town. But in fact we are shooting more in Summerland (home of the late — and arguably first great — Canadian playwright, George Ryga) than anywhere else.

Craig has left for K-Town this evening. I am left here. My 'to-do' list is by now very short and can be summed up by the single word 'pack.' Saying that all I have left to do is 'pack' is a bit specious though. What I have to do is pack a fully ordinanced army and get them to K-Town by Saturday.

Sleep? Whatever. I remember what sleep tastes like. It IS something that you taste… right?

I soldier on.

I don't know who it was who first said something to the effect of ‘commit to your shooting date and all the problems will solve themselves.' I should point out that anyone who can't make that claim is a failed independent film-maker and has no credibility to take seriously. So far we've had a lot of luck in the 'problems will solve themselves' department. Especially in the past three days. A lot of ulcer-makers have in fact solved themselves.

For example, 45 minutes after our third (yes, THIRD) special props builder who was building the 'Ness-Sled' called to bail on me, my upstairs neighbour — entirely unaware of my plight — knocked on my door to tell me about a friend of his who he works with who… do I even have to finish this sentence?

The list goes on. And I think a lot of that has to do with the act of soldiering on, not caring about the crap that comes your way.

Late last week I was on the phone with Craig — we must talk more than he and his wife have this month — and was in the middle of explaining some situation or another to him (it's truly irrelevant what). As I was talking, a squirrel was walking along the fence in front of the office (oh, how I long for the day when I can call it an 'apartment'… 'MY apartment' again) when suddenly out of the blue, swooped a bird. And the damned thing shit-bombed the squirrel! Dead on, too! The squirrel kept on walking.

Whatever sentence I was in the middle of saying was immediately high-jacked by the exclamation "A bird just shit on a squirrel!"

How unlikely is it that a bird would try that, let alone actually hit? And the squirrel just kept on going along the fence.

Craig suggested that that should be our motto: "A bird shit on a squirrel." No matter how bizarre or unlikely the mishap, keep soldiering on, just like that squirrel.

And it seems as though there is nothing left that can stop us.

Well, there IS the union thing again.

"Again?", you ask, "What ‘Union thing’?"

Well, we didn't talk about it before for any number of political reasons. But it's now too late for it to be an issue. Last Summer when we postponed, it wasn't quite as our official story has been, that “the forest fires in the US blew too much smoke into the Okanagan”; which they did, but we COULD have shot through that, as unpleasant as it would have been. It was the actors’ union. OUR union. They refused to let us make the movie. I'm not going to get into it in detail. Suffice to say that with less than two weeks to go, they disallowed our low-budget waiver. Our waiver which clearly met all the stated stipulations of the low-budget program.

Over the past months they provided us a new option - a new option which we are the pilot project for. The MIP - Member Initiated Production. We've done our best to help them identify the issues with it, and again we've met the requirements… which was not easy, as they several times told us one thing, then turned around and told us that they had made a mistake and that the 'other thing' was the case. One of these cost us nearly two weeks… ending only earlier this week! The other was solved in a day… ALSO this week.

I may elaborate later, but I've got an army to move.

For the record, the union requires that you submit TWO weeks in advance. We submitted in advance three weeks to the day.

We shoot on Monday. Five days away from my writing this. They still haven't said 'yes.' And when they do, we still have to make offers to our cast's agents… uh, WHEN am I doing THAT? Remember I have to muster the army?! Craig is already in K-Town with David.

The fact is, we've committed far too many resources to this project already; resources we can't get back. And by now, all our Union actors are producers of the project. If the Union happened to say 'no' right now, do you think there is a labour court in the country that would agree with them and say "You can't be in this film THAT YOU ARE PRODUCING"?! I doubt it.

But let's say that anywhere between tomorrow morning and Monday when cameras roll and no-one is here in 'Provost Pictures’ Office' to take the call, that the Union calls and says "Sorry!" Not that this is how they did it last time; last time they left voice mail just as they closed their office for a long-weekend, the cowards!

It just doesn't matter what kind of shit bomb they dump on us, we're going to keep walking along that fence.

In any case, it's fucking asinine that we've now TWO business days before the shoot and we haven't heard from them.

— Kennedy

A Good Start

Kennedy asked me to write a little something about our first few days of shooting. Overall, it would appear we are off to a good start on the production. The crew all arrived in Penticton late on Sunday night and set-up to film the actor playing Buck being attacked by the Ogopogo. Through the dense clouds of smoke from the fog machine and ‘special aquatic effects’ (i.e.: buckets of water) the first scene of The Beast of Bottomless Lake was finally filmed.

After only a few hours sleep we were all up the next morning and off to Kelowna to visit our friends at CATO. Further interviews of potential crew transpired. We even had one résumé with "Pyrotechnics (self taught)" listed. It was nice to catch up with familiar faces from the casting last year.

Shari, our excellent DP decided on sushi for lunch and we managed to find the slowest take-away in the Okanagan.

We visited the Kelowna Princess and looked around, chatting to Bob the skipper. We found out that over 25 weddings have taken place on the boat, all on the same day! It was then off to see the Summerland yacht club where we found they have had a new bar put in. They must of known I was coming.

The next day saw us at a marina to film the real Buck and his news interview. Despite cold temperatures the crew soldiered on. Patrick, our slightly eccentric sound guy insisted the sub-zero weather was nothing and wore a T-shirt. He then removed a sock to help fashion a furry! The more sane members of the cast and crew grabbed whatever was near to hand to keep warm, be it other crew members' clothes or the crew themselves. Kennedy, our illustrious writer, found that his raging heart was all that was needed to keep him toasty and proceeded to flirt with our glamorous newscaster Dorothy. Obviously, as I run an equal opportunities production, I will now be insisting he flirts with all our actors, both male and female, for the rest of the shoot.

The search still continues to fill our final crew positions. We were hoping to hire more locals from the Okanagan but it seems they are all still hibernating from the cold. If anyone out there is interested please contact Provost Pictures, you never know you may end up part of the dream team. There are only a few weeks to go till production starts.

In the afternoon the sun came out and we filmed Chief Bigsky (pronounced Big-ski). It was a beautiful moment that reduced our sensitive director to tears. An eagle even soared overhead watching the set with a keen eye. That reminds me: I really must cut the craft services budget.

We are still looking for a van for the film. If you or anyone you know has a VW camper-style van, please get in touch. There are also the last few shares in the movie available for sale. I’m sure investment analysts around the world are rushing for these, so act fast.

— David Jevons, Producer