International Affairs (and Break-Ups)

There are times when you say things and times when you don't say things; I don't often know the difference, which can be charming at times, and at times it can get you (meaning me) kicked out of countries (meaning Canada) on the day before I was supposed to join fellow Beasts on the travel to the (only mythical, to me) land of Kelowna, to assist crewing on this great motion picture, which I stumbled across last year on the internet and have been intrigued by ever since…

Basically what happened is — after four hours on a train and four hours on a bus — I said too much to the Canadian border guard(s) about my prospective activities, who told me I couldn't enter without a work permit, made me walk back across the border in shame, only to be harassed by the American border guards who thought I was trying to sneak in from Canada… then wait three hours for a bus, during which time I made the embarrassing call to Kennedy to let him know that I would not be making it to the shoot, and after which time, I had to board the bus last, due to my ‘thug’ status.

I was somewhat delirious by this time, as I hadn't eaten much and had almost been kicked out of two countries, so it thankfully all seemed kind of funny.

Sitting near me on the bus back to Seattle, there were these two teenage Canadian boys who were all excited about moving to the States; sad that they wouldn't be able to go to bars, happy that they could still buy cigarettes, wondering where all the enormous road signs were (?), laughing about gallons and miles, and suddenly one of them became very panicked that there might not be any Tim Hortons in the U.S. (which there are not, except for a few on the East Coast). The other one assured him that this was preposterous, ‘of course there are Tim Hortons everywhere!’ I almost opened my mouth, but I thought, this just might be one of those times when you don't say something.

So I practised not saying anything. And now there are two teenage boys wandering around Seattle searching for a Tim Hortons that doesn't exist. But that's how it rolls in international travels, boys. That's just how it rolls.

Anyway, I wish everyone the best of luck on the shoot and thanks for allowing me to be a part of it… you have my support from the lawful distance of bordering lands!

— Brie Williams